my grandpa
there is a special bond between grandparents and their grandchildren. it’s very different from that of a parent and child bond and that between siblings or between friends. i watch my own parents with their granddaughters and grandsons and my father in law with his grandsons and see it instantly. in the way they interact, the way they look at each other, the way they teach and guide and tell stories.
my grandparents were always a huge part of our lives. while my dad’s dad passed away before i got to know him, i had his mom as part of my life every summer at the cottage, family birthdays and at christmas. my mom’s parents lived closer so we saw them more through the rest of the year including halloween, family birthdays, christmas and a very special trip to california and las vegas when i was 13.
when my grandma blake – connie, passed away when i was in grade 9 it was one of the single most impactful moments of my life. she was the first loss i ever had to experience. it was then when i realized what role a grandparent held in my life. i learned how important it was to remember the stories that they share. my brother – who was in grade 5 at the time told me that we needed to write about her. write everything we remember about her so we don’t forget anything over time. pretty smart kid and i over the years often write about things that happen so i remember them, regardless of who it is about. but if you aren’t a writer you still need to be a listener because the stories that your grandparents have to share is our history, their lives are what brought us to where we are today. and when your grandparents are gone, so are those stories.
december 18, 2012, was the day i lost one of my most important people in the world to me – my grandpa who we are here today to celebrate. and it wasn’t me that he was so important to – our entire family – he was the cornerstone of our family. i always knew what an amazing man he was because of how i felt about him and around him. but i truly saw the type of man he was to everyone else when i read posts on facebook about him…
amy… rest in peace grandpa george. you were a truly great man who helped me be who i am today, and i'm glad your suffering is over and you can be with grandma once again! we'll love and miss you always.
rob…. i lost one of the people that has had the biggest influence in my life today. my grandfather. the reason i'm into aviation, the military, history and so much more. i love you so much and miss you so already!
me …. tonight i lost one of my most favorite people in the world. rip grandpa fish - as my boys call you.
you taught me so much and was always so proud of me and everything i have ever done. i hope you know how proud i was to call you my grandpa.
karen …. the world's greatest storyteller, my dad, passed away today. if you listen carefully you can hear him telling stories to my mum and his brothers and sisters and they are all laughing.
tiffany - we have lost a very special one of a kind grandpa today, he is the reason why rob is in the field he is in, he was a man that made an outsider(me) never feel like an outsider, what a special man he was. and i am one proud lady to call him my grandpa as well, you will be missed by all that have even met him!!! xoxoxoxoxoxo
and not from facebook - when my grandpa was in hospital this time last year tom and i took our boys to see him in the hospital. i was explaining to gavin why he was in hospital and i said to him that grandpa didn’t have a very good heart and that is why he was in hospital. gavin sat and thought for a little while and then turned and said to me – that’s just not right mom. grandpa fish has a really good heart because he is always nice to me and he shares his french fries with me even though i get subs for lunch at the mall and didn’t order any fries. he just knows i like fries.
all of this just showed me how much we lost in his passing. the impact that he had on all of our lives. as my aunt karen commented. he was such a story teller, he had a passion to share his stories. he researched our family tree, has written out stories about his family settling where they did and then around the age of 88 decided he needed get a scanner to scan his hundreds of slides and pictures onto the computer and write about the pictures. i always loved going to his apartment for a visit because i would get a copy of whatever he was working on to read and he would show me the latest in his picture scanning project. i was amazed sitting there and reading all about pictures that were 40, 50 and even 60 years old. and he remembered where they were taken, who was in the picture and why they were doing what they were doing in the picture.
i could sit for hours and listen to the stories that he shared with me and then he did the same with my kids. his passion and love for sharing. i am going to really miss that.
the other part of my grandfather i am going to miss is - my grandpa the mall rat – just after my grandma passed away my grandfather had open heart surgery. as part of his recovery - i think from both the surgery and his loss of my grandma he started walking. he and his friends started the indoor mall walking club way before the trend hit. hillcrest mall, the promenade, occasionally markville and then came vaughan mills – better known in my family as the fish mall. gavin named that mall the fish mall after the big fish tank in pro bass shop, and thus my grandfather quickly became grandpa fish to my boys.
everyone who met my grandfather loved him. he was a great friend to people, a great flirt with the ladies – of all ages but he seemed to have an awful lot of young girls who would wave at him in our laps around the mall. there were quite a few too who we would have to go in and visit in the shop they worked in – and he would harass in some capacity. he would tease those that were hung over from a night of partying the night before, make fun of the products they sold or even the deadly high heels they were wearing and how silly it was to wear something like that on their feet when they were standing all day long. he would recommend a good solid running shoe like his own. after all it’s not like they were out for a night on the town – they were at work in the mall he would say. or the young nurses he would harass in the hospital. i remember him calling for the nurse one day and of course, as a heart patient the nurses come quick. she came flying into the room and all he called her about was that he needed to make fun of the hospital food he received on his tray and was trying to sweet talk her into ordering pizza or something better to eat. of course he would pay and he would share if the nurse would just make it happen. then he would throw one of his charming smiles and twinkle of the eye. i bet that when we weren’t around he would get anything he wanted from those girls on the cardiac floor at york central.
i worked at sam the record man for many years in hillcrest mall. my grandpa would come in every saturday morning to visit my friend erica and i. often bringing coffee and lottery tickets. erica took a lot of sugar in her coffee – and i mean a lot. but grandpa being grandpa would only bring her 2 packets. that is all she would allow her to have. once he was gone she would make a quick trip back down to second cup to get more sugar packs.
my grandpa got a kick out of the names of the different bands that we had for sale in the store. amongst his favorites were the black crowes, butthole surfers and a band called n-s-y-n-c. and while it was actually nsync he was referring to – it was always called n-s-y-n-c….
for a little while i worked at a company that had a head office in markham and i had to go to head office for a weekly meeting. i would try to stop at hillcrest on my way by for a coffee and a visit with grandpa and his friends. it was so great to sit with all of them and listen to them rile each other up, teasing, joking sharing stories and laughs. and with each visit my grandfather insisted he buy me a coffee. he would take me to the yogen fruz/coffee time stand to get me a cup. i will never forgot the first time he took me over. the chinese woman that stood behind the counter was probably about 40 or so and her face would beam as soon as she saw it was my grandpa standing before her. well, this first time i got to meet her she had to come out from behind the kiosk to hug me because = and i quote – she was going to be my new grandma because she loved my grandpa so much and she was going to marry him. he was the best thing to bless her counter every day lol
my grandpa had a regular ritual at the mall. walking coffee, walking coffee, walking early lunch home. didn’t matter the mall. my favorite part of meeting my grandpa at the promenade was actually his friend that he met with in the food court. i don’t know if you recall the commercials with the maytag repair man in them – you know, the ones where he maytag repair man was always doing something else like reading the paper or having coffee because he was bored because maytags never break. well my grandfather’s friend sitting in the food court with him – is the service man from sears with a big maytag logo on his arm. it would make me laugh every time i saw them together in the foodcourt. my grandpa, friends with everyone, even the maytag repair man. if anyone ever had a maytag break down they could go to the prom foodcourt and find him chatting with my grandpa.
i have always loved walking with my grandfather. we would meet at the mall and walk for hours. it was a time to talk and share and spend time with each other. once i had my boys, i always loved walking behind them watching them talk and walk at the same pace. i found a poem online that i would like to read that is exactly my grandfather and how i felt about walking with him.
i will leave you with this one last thought. it was something that was read at my mother in law’s funeral 10 years ago that has always stayed in my mind.
how do you live your dash?
i read of a man who stood to speak
at the funeral of a friend.
he referred to the dates on her tombstone
from the beginning….. to the end
he noted he first came to her date of birth
and spoke the following date with tears,
but he said what mattered most of all
was the dash between those years.
for that dash represents all the time
that she spent alive on this earth…
and now only those who loved her
know what that little line is worth.
for it matters not, how much we own:
the cars…the house…the cash,
what matters is how we live and love
and how we spend our dash.
so think about this long and hard….
are there things you’d like to change?
for you never know how much time is left
that can still be rearranged.
if we could just slow down enough
to consider what’s true and real,
and always try to understand
the way other people feel.
and be less quick to anger
and show appreciation more
and love the people in our lives
like we’ve never loved before.
if we treat each other with respect,
and more often wear a smile….
remembering that this special dash
might only last a little while.
so when your eulogy’s being read
with your life’s actions to rehash
would you be proud of the things they say
about how you spent your dash?
george waldo blake
sept. 3/21 dash dec. 18/12
i know my grandpa would be proud of the way he lived his dash.
~ simply missing my grandpa ~
