simply put - too long since I was last here

it's hard to believe i haven't posted since May 2013.  wow.....

i hope that this is going to change with my new goal to focus on me and make me the best me possible so i can be the best me for everyone else 

i put together what you could call a vision board.  a fun cut and paste activity where i chose images to represent what i want to achieve this year.  a different take on resolutions.  i made a collage of these goals and it now hangs on the wall beside my bed.  i look at it every morning and it reminds me daily to put those things first in life.

of course it includes the typical

eating right

exercising 

budgeting

but more important than those there are certain aspects of those that i have captured in my goals...


!!! like using my fitbit and my fitness pal all the time now

!!! like getting my ankle back into running form

!!! like saving money for goals like attending a family wedding in july or going away for christmas

and lastly my one and only specific goal ....

!!! signing up for a duathlon in september which includes a 5k run followed by a 20k ride followed by a 2.5k run

the last one really depends on my ankle but september is a long ways off

 

so what else is on this list?  funny enough it relates back to one of my first blogs where i said how much i enjoy reading, writing, sewing and photography.  so i am filling my time with reading a lot lately and actually something i never thought i would enjoy is crocheting.  took a lot of youtube videos over christmas but i taught myself how to crochet.  so now as i sit at night and unwind from the day i have my book or my crochet hook and yarn in my hand.  i am crocheting baby beanies for the hospital.  as for the reading i have read 3 books in a great series so far and just started book 4 ... oh jeffrey archer how i love thee

my writing has a couple goals are more and i haven't tackled many yet but here i am on here so that's a start and it's only february

am joining a writers group this month and while i am completely nervous i am really excited as well. the writing has been slow to start as i am tackling 2 of my last 3 municipal courses as well right now so while i may not be writing what i want to write i am writing papers every 2 weeks until april. municipal contract law and municipal public sector accounting regulations are not my choice to write but i still am.

to kick off my "real writing" i am attending a writer's conference in april with my mom and aunt. i am so proud of my aunt who is following her dream and writing books.  she now has 2 published and is active in a writing community.  i am very excited for her and to go to this event in ottawa


family and friends are important to me and over the years i have truly learned the meaning of the quote here.............

friends come and go from your life and some are part of your life only for certain periods of time or i think for certain reasons but there are some friends you make over time that you just realize are simply real friends.  it doesn't matter if you are having a bad day or if you have a problem with something, they are there.  doesn't matter if you have a problem with them and you tell them what you are thinking or how you are feeling, they are still there.  doesn't matter if you are years apart or if you don't talk every day, they are still there.  and you are there for them regardless.  i think my circle of real friends in my life know who they are and i hope i am as good a friend to them as they are to me

and as for family.... in march i am off to see my brother who i haven't seen since my grandpa's celebration of life.  how does two years go by and you not see your brother?  it has been so hard with him out there.  i hate talking on the phone - never been a phone type of person, much rather see someone in person but it is not always easy with a few provinces between us.  i am so excited to see him and my sister in law, and my two nieces and nephew. 

while i didn't list it there i also have travel in my mind....  going west will be part of that and i plan to get away to tofino for a couple days while i am out there. then as i mentioned, a family wedding in new hampshire in july and then who knows...  maybe some tropical beach in the winter with the boys.

i will say that i won't let time slip away from me and this blog like i just did....  

~ simply me, on a new path 

my grandpa

my grandpa

there is a special bond between grandparents and their grandchildren. it’s very different from that of a parent and child bond and that between siblings or between friends. i watch my own parents with their granddaughters and grandsons and my father in law with his grandsons and see it instantly. in the way they interact, the way they look at each other, the way they teach and guide and tell stories.



my grandparents were always a huge part of our lives. while my dad’s dad passed away before i got to know him, i had his mom as part of my life every summer at the cottage, family birthdays and at christmas. my mom’s parents lived closer so we saw them more through the rest of the year including halloween, family birthdays, christmas and a very special trip to california and las vegas when i was 13.



when my grandma blake – connie, passed away when i was in grade 9 it was one of the single most impactful moments of my life. she was the first loss i ever had to experience. it was then when i realized what role a grandparent held in my life. i learned how important it was to remember the stories that they share. my brother – who was in grade 5 at the time told me that we needed to write about her. write everything we remember about her so we don’t forget anything over time. pretty smart kid and i over the years often write about things that happen so i remember them, regardless of who it is about. but if you aren’t a writer you still need to be a listener because the stories that your grandparents have to share is our history, their lives are what brought us to where we are today. and when your grandparents are gone, so are those stories.



december 18, 2012, was the day i lost one of my most important people in the world to me – my grandpa who we are here today to celebrate. and it wasn’t me that he was so important to – our entire family – he was the cornerstone of our family. i always knew what an amazing man he was because of how i felt about him and around him. but i truly saw the type of man he was to everyone else when i read posts on facebook about him…

amy… rest in peace grandpa george. you were a truly great man who helped me be who i am today, and i'm glad your suffering is over and you can be with grandma once again! we'll love and miss you always.

rob…. i lost one of the people that has had the biggest influence in my life today. my grandfather. the reason i'm into aviation, the military, history and so much more. i love you so much and miss you so already!

me …. tonight i lost one of my most favorite people in the world. rip grandpa fish - as my boys call you.

you taught me so much and was always so proud of me and everything i have ever done. i hope you know how proud i was to call you my grandpa.

karen …. the world's greatest storyteller, my dad, passed away today. if you listen carefully you can hear him telling stories to my mum and his brothers and sisters and they are all laughing.

tiffany - we have lost a very special one of a kind grandpa today, he is the reason why rob is in the field he is in, he was a man that made an outsider(me) never feel like an outsider, what a special man he was. and i am one proud lady to call him my grandpa as well, you will be missed by all that have even met him!!! xoxoxoxoxoxo

and not from facebook - when my grandpa was in hospital this time last year tom and i took our boys to see him in the hospital. i was explaining to gavin why he was in hospital and i said to him that grandpa didn’t have a very good heart and that is why he was in hospital. gavin sat and thought for a little while and then turned and said to me – that’s just not right mom. grandpa fish has a really good heart because he is always nice to me and he shares his french fries with me even though i get subs for lunch at the mall and didn’t order any fries. he just knows i like fries.



all of this just showed me how much we lost in his passing. the impact that he had on all of our lives. as my aunt karen commented. he was such a story teller, he had a passion to share his stories. he researched our family tree, has written out stories about his family settling where they did and then around the age of 88 decided he needed get a scanner to scan his hundreds of slides and pictures onto the computer and write about the pictures. i always loved going to his apartment for a visit because i would get a copy of whatever he was working on to read and he would show me the latest in his picture scanning project. i was amazed sitting there and reading all about pictures that were 40, 50 and even 60 years old. and he remembered where they were taken, who was in the picture and why they were doing what they were doing in the picture.

i could sit for hours and listen to the stories that he shared with me and then he did the same with my kids. his passion and love for sharing. i am going to really miss that.

the other part of my grandfather i am going to miss is - my grandpa the mall rat – just after my grandma passed away my grandfather had open heart surgery. as part of his recovery - i think from both the surgery and his loss of my grandma he started walking. he and his friends started the indoor mall walking club way before the trend hit. hillcrest mall, the promenade, occasionally markville and then came vaughan mills – better known in my family as the fish mall. gavin named that mall the fish mall after the big fish tank in pro bass shop, and thus my grandfather quickly became grandpa fish to my boys.



everyone who met my grandfather loved him. he was a great friend to people, a great flirt with the ladies – of all ages but he seemed to have an awful lot of young girls who would wave at him in our laps around the mall. there were quite a few too who we would have to go in and visit in the shop they worked in – and he would harass in some capacity. he would tease those that were hung over from a night of partying the night before, make fun of the products they sold or even the deadly high heels they were wearing and how silly it was to wear something like that on their feet when they were standing all day long. he would recommend a good solid running shoe like his own. after all it’s not like they were out for a night on the town – they were at work in the mall he would say. or the young nurses he would harass in the hospital. i remember him calling for the nurse one day and of course, as a heart patient the nurses come quick. she came flying into the room and all he called her about was that he needed to make fun of the hospital food he received on his tray and was trying to sweet talk her into ordering pizza or something better to eat. of course he would pay and he would share if the nurse would just make it happen. then he would throw one of his charming smiles and twinkle of the eye. i bet that when we weren’t around he would get anything he wanted from those girls on the cardiac floor at york central.



i worked at sam the record man for many years in hillcrest mall. my grandpa would come in every saturday morning to visit my friend erica and i. often bringing coffee and lottery tickets. erica took a lot of sugar in her coffee – and i mean a lot. but grandpa being grandpa would only bring her 2 packets. that is all she would allow her to have. once he was gone she would make a quick trip back down to second cup to get more sugar packs.



my grandpa got a kick out of the names of the different bands that we had for sale in the store. amongst his favorites were the black crowes, butthole surfers and a band called n-s-y-n-c. and while it was actually nsync he was referring to – it was always called n-s-y-n-c….



for a little while i worked at a company that had a head office in markham and i had to go to head office for a weekly meeting. i would try to stop at hillcrest on my way by for a coffee and a visit with grandpa and his friends. it was so great to sit with all of them and listen to them rile each other up, teasing, joking sharing stories and laughs. and with each visit my grandfather insisted he buy me a coffee. he would take me to the yogen fruz/coffee time stand to get me a cup. i will never forgot the first time he took me over. the chinese woman that stood behind the counter was probably about 40 or so and her face would beam as soon as she saw it was my grandpa standing before her. well, this first time i got to meet her she had to come out from behind the kiosk to hug me because = and i quote – she was going to be my new grandma because she loved my grandpa so much and she was going to marry him. he was the best thing to bless her counter every day lol



my grandpa had a regular ritual at the mall. walking coffee, walking coffee, walking early lunch home. didn’t matter the mall. my favorite part of meeting my grandpa at the promenade was actually his friend that he met with in the food court. i don’t know if you recall the commercials with the maytag repair man in them – you know, the ones where he maytag repair man was always doing something else like reading the paper or having coffee because he was bored because maytags never break. well my grandfather’s friend sitting in the food court with him – is the service man from sears with a big maytag logo on his arm. it would make me laugh every time i saw them together in the foodcourt. my grandpa, friends with everyone, even the maytag repair man. if anyone ever had a maytag break down they could go to the prom foodcourt and find him chatting with my grandpa.



i have always loved walking with my grandfather. we would meet at the mall and walk for hours. it was a time to talk and share and spend time with each other. once i had my boys, i always loved walking behind them watching them talk and walk at the same pace. i found a poem online that i would like to read that is exactly my grandfather and how i felt about walking with him.

      if i could have chosen anyone to be my grandfather from all the people in the world i would have still chosen him. his eyes that shine with a touch of mischief and a laugh that would always make me smile. his hands that would reach out to hold mine or to give me a hug. his heart that was always big enough to welcome anyone like tom and tiffany and the great friends he made where ever he went. the time that he spent with me and my family and the stories that he shared. if i could chose from all the grandpas in the world there is no doubt i would have chosen him.


i will leave you with this one last thought. it was something that was read at my mother in law’s funeral 10 years ago that has always stayed in my mind.

how do you live your dash?

i read of a man who stood to speak

at the funeral of a friend.

he referred to the dates on her tombstone

from the beginning….. to the end

he noted he first came to her date of birth

and spoke the following date with tears,

but he said what mattered most of all

was the dash between those years.

for that dash represents all the time

that she spent alive on this earth…

and now only those who loved her

know what that little line is worth.

for it matters not, how much we own:

the cars…the house…the cash,

what matters is how we live and love

and how we spend our dash.

so think about this long and hard….

are there things you’d like to change?

for you never know how much time is left

that can still be rearranged.

if we could just slow down enough

to consider what’s true and real,

and always try to understand

the way other people feel.

and be less quick to anger

and show appreciation more

and love the people in our lives

like we’ve never loved before.

if we treat each other with respect,

and more often wear a smile….

remembering that this special dash

might only last a little while.

so when your eulogy’s being read

with your life’s actions to rehash

would you be proud of the things they say

about how you spent your dash?

george waldo blake

sept. 3/21 dash dec. 18/12

i know my grandpa would be proud of the way he lived his dash.


~ simply missing my grandpa ~

keep it simple santa

so before us lies another holiday season. 

the season of giving, family gatherings, eating, decorating...........

over eating, over spending, over giving, over decorating........

family fights, credit card debt, weight gain from over eating..........

i know bah humbug.  but this is the time of year that you should take the time and think about what is important to you.  what are you celebrating?  why did you just spend $1000 on a ton of plastic, paper, metal, fabric to show people that you love them or that you are thinking of them? 

i am overlooking my constant wondering about why the festive season drives people to spend spend spend as a way to show love, friendship, thankfulness and so forth. and then there are the people running through the malls at the last minute looking for something to give someone for chirstmas so they have something under the tree.  what kind of thought even when into that gift you grabbed off the shelf at the store when you took that extended lunch to finish your shopping?  or the gift that you had your secretary or assistant pick up for you for your kid because you forgot a couple things on the list?

i find it hard with little kids and trying to make them understand that games and toys aren't what is important now because of what they are surrounded with.  even if your kids don't watch a lot of television or see a lot of commericals there are signs, pictures, store displays, other kids talking.  i cringe when i hear "i want that" come from my kids' mouths. i have a hard time too battling with the world where santa brings big huge presents to some kids but only a book or two to another.  if you have the need to buy huge material things, just make sure they come from you and not santa so santa can treat all kids the same.

i have made an important decision to appease my hatred of the commercialism of the season and overcome my anger towards those who have insseant need to spend money on things to show how you feel about someone instead of just making the time to spend with that person or those people.  i can't get away from all of the commercialism and i don't want to crush  my kids by telling them there is no santa so i have decided that for the next 5-6 years where santa has to exist in our lives we will buy minimal gifts which come from the jolly fat man in the red suit.  santa will be the only one who brings presents and they will not be big. 

the adults in my family are not buying gifts for each other - it is more important that we set aside time throughout the year to spend time with each other -  if we spend money and go somewhere for a night or even if we just spend no money and get together for a meal or maybe even we figure into the calendar a family weekend get away.  getting away with the boys and spend time with them, make memories.

i will also stress the importance of spending time with family and friends and explain how spending time together is a far better gift than anything material.  we will make cards and things for people and put a love and hard work into things that we give to others. 

my grandfather is not well, and he is my last grandparent that is still alive and i know we won't have him in our lives for much longer.  my mother in law passed away 10 years ago this past september.  life is too short and we don't spend enough time with the people we love and we don't tell people often enough that we appreciate them - their friendship, their support, their advice - any of that.

and buying a toy, or a cool gadget doesn't make up for it - money and things don't replace quality time

so, once the fat man is no longer in our lives this holiday season will become just that - a holiday.  a break from the hussle and bussle of life, a get away from the commercialism.  it will be a family holiday spending time with each other and knowing that that is what is important in life.  

this christmas give the gift of time, to people you know or even someone who you don't who would appreciate it.

you can't buy time - and time, while it has no monetary value, has more value than anything   

~ simply me ~

simply november

it's November 1, 2012, one of my least liked days.  i don't know where this feeling or thought comes from but every year on november first i begin this hatred of winter, hatred of how commercial the world has become and this hatred of christmas.  bah humbug i am sure you are muttering at me right now.

one thing that i think bothers me so much is this jump to christmas that the world seems to have the day after halloween. 

and it bothers me so much because such an important day is overlooked - november 11 - rememberance day. 

i think it is overlooked because there isn't a whole lot commercial about the day.  you don't see tshirts for sale, you don't exchange gifts or cards.  there aren't things in the aisles of the stores shouting out at you buy me because it is rememberence day.


both of my grandparents were in world war 2.  if it weren't for the people who fought in the wars and dealt with the conflicts that the world experienced in the past then you wouldn't be out there shopping for those christmas gifts, or working in your big corporate highrise, taking home your fat paycheque or let alone - enjoying the freedom and life that you experience around you.

i just ask that maybe, just maybe, people could pause and realize the importance of a day that is so significant, yet so simple.  it doesn't take a lot of time, or money or planning to take the time for this special day and to appreciate its significance.   

at least in the US they have thanksgiving to look forward to at the end of the month before they jump head first into the world of the fat jolly man. 

i love fall, especially in muskoka but once the leaves fall away and the vibrant colours of halloween decorations come down it leaves behind ~ november.  just plain blah, dreary, winter pending november

this time last year i was researching ways to move to the okanagan.  why?  because that area has almost the most days of sunshine a year in the entire country, has little snow, appeals to this idea of living a simpler life when i could grow fruits and vegetables and enjoy locally grown products for the bulk of the year and it would allow my family to explore the west coast of the continent for the next 40 years of life.  i figured i lived in ontario the first 40 years of my life, why not live on the west coast for the next 40. 

and then reality sets in - it is expensive to move, that part of the country is an expensive place to live and there just aren't the jobs there. 

so this year's dream is far more realistic ....

i am going to move my family to a tropical island where we are going to run a tiki bar on a beach, or we can take people on deep sea fishing excursions or go chonch fishing and my kids can make seashell necklaces and sell them to the tourists.  they are pretty cute kids, they could swindle tourists into taking their pictures for a small fee ....

there will be no commercial holidays being shoved down my throat but i will decorate my tiki hut with poppies

~ simply me in dreamworld ~

simplicity of the cottage incorporated into real life

i sit back and watch my boys playing in the backyard in their imaginary fort which lies beneath the big branches of an old evergreen tree. we had been fishing earlier in the day and swimming in the lake; all activities making me reminiscent of my summers at our cottage. there was no television, no gameboys, no ipads or iphones or computers. the radio consisted of cbc radio – the voices of peter gzowski, stuart mclean, shelagh rogers, barbara budd, the sound of the tone at 1 o’clock, the morning side theme and quirks and quarks. the music of the cottage included whatever was on cbc, the piano playing in the front cottage or at the neighbouring cottages, classical music and my uncle’s incredible whistling – i still long for that talent or even just to be able to whistle. my brother and i were probably the only grade schools kid in toronto who knew the radio personalities of cbc radio or who knew the song of eyes are blue, five foot two or bicycle built for two.

funny enough, my graduation day from trent university was the last morningside and peter gzowski’s final show. my brother and i didn’t want to get out of the car. we had been listening most of the drive from thornhill to peterborough that morning and it was hard to pull ourselves away. surely that was a good excuse for being late to my university graduation, plus my last name started with –s-

my cousins, the other cottage kids, my brother and i would play for hours on the beach making sandcastle towns, go fishing, play for hours in the lake, play games of kick the can and flashlight hide and seek at night and just hang out and enjoy all of the beauty of lake benard in the summer. blueberry picking, trips to trudgeons, ms mertons, mini put, drives around the lake or off exploring some new place in the area, a day was never dull. my brother and i were the youngest two of our generation of cottage kids but another baby boom came along about 12-15 years after us – a new generation of cottage kids but with an entirely different cottage experience.

in our days at the cottage we had no running water, no showers, no flush toilets, no laundry - our bathroom was basically an indoor, glorified and better smelling outhouse. yes we had electricity but no phone, no tv, just the radio and the great outdoors and books. if it was a cold summer it sucked because the lake was the bathtub and it was pretty tough getting in there when you had to wash because you were on day 3 or 4 of cold weather and you hadn’t been in for the 4pm swim. that seemed to be the exact time you would see figures of people leaving their beaches to meet at the drop off. the kids of course were under and soaked in the first 4 feet from the beach but the adults took their time walking all the way out there and then stood for what seemed like eternity telling the kids that they couldn’t be splashed and finally they eased themselves into the lake. everyone would bathe and then slowly make their way back to shore staying under water – literally crawling back to shore. i know completely understand the slow process of getting into the water. water is never cold to kids, but come adulthood, that lake that we once referred to as pea soup or like bath water became refreshing, and sometimes downright chilly.

so, flash-forward to today, all the kids of the cottage are all grown up now, most of us with children, with busy lives in the cities we live in and in the crazy hectic schedules and demands that revolve around us. most of us return to our cottage roots but life is really different around the cottages. the front cottage has a phone (cordless at that), television (with satellite) a wireless network and computer. when i was there two summers ago one of the younger generation cottage kids was sitting on the couch in the front cottage with an ipod in his hand and earphones on his head, complaining that there was nothing to do. he had checked his email, there was nothing on television, the wii competition had come to an end and to top it all off he was fully clothed – socks and running shoes included. i think i lived in my bathing suit all summer long, had bare feet for 80% of the time or flip flops on and can’t ever recall a day of being bored.

even rainy days at the cottage were fun – scrabble with the couple next door (who i am sure the man totally cheated so he could beat me), monopoly games that lasted hours, cribbage, euchre, reading a great book curled up in the sun porch, playing outside in the rain or in the lake when it was raining as long as there wasn’t lightning or even a trip to the big city of north bay. we never left the cottage for a trip to the bay though if it rained before 7 because according to my uncle it would be clear by 11. but, if the morning sky was red and it was raining in the morning we would pack the car and head north.

that particular day of encountering the bored kid was a real eye opener for me. my aunt told me to tell him what we used to do at the cottage and how life is never boring there. he balked at the idea of fishing, exploring the trail along the creek to first bridge or second bridge, making sandcastles, trying to windsurf, lying on the dock, canoeing, reading a book or even about the adventures of jughead and archie that were still up in the loft or pretty much anything i relayed as an idea. wow what world did i grow up in? what world was that generation growing up in? what were our kids going to be doing at the cottage?

i was suddenly so grateful to my family – including my aunt and uncle for creating the environment we grew up in. to appreciate the small and simple things in life. it really resonates with me in my search for making a simpler life. all of the recommendations on the lists of the 100 ways to simplify your life include all the things i did at the cottage as a kid – get rid of electronic devices or turn them off on a regular basis, do things you enjoy, get rid of the material things and basically live things simply by doing the things you love to do and eliminate all the stressors, unnecessary commitments in life and put yourself and your time first.

so again i look at the boys playing in their fort under the evergreen tree. so thankful i have been raising them the way i do. to enjoy the outdoors, live life or at least live summer with very little electronics including tv, ipads, iphones, wii and so forth. going fishing, blueberry picking, rock hounding, exploring places we have never been before, hiking, camping, reading, swimming and living where we do. while we do live in muskoka – cottage country of the rich and famous, sports stars and movie stars - we live a cottage type lifestyle in muskoka year round – and the cottage lifestyle of my childhood. not what people today know of the cottage lifestyle - a world of exclusive multi-million dollar cottages – boathouses that are bigger than my home and nicer than most people’s homes, sound systems on their docks and in their bathrooms that cost more than my annual salary, complete wireless networks and cellular service, computers and iphones and laptops on the docks so everyone can keep in touch with the business world. let’s not forget about the insanely loud, fast and crazy speed boats, i guess maybe to replicate their loud fast and crazy life in the real world.

i love my hammock that sways slowly in the breeze under my trees, i love my kids pretending that the backyard is a jungle with secret hideouts, i love that my kids love picking berries, rock hunting, fishing, swimming, catching toads in the back yard. i love that my son keeps an eye out for deer or moose on our way to school. i love that i once had to wait for the bear to be done sucking the juice from the hummingbird feeder in the yard before i could go to my car to get to work. i love that it takes me 20 minutes to drive to work and the only traffic i worry about is the wild turkeys or deer on brackenrig road.

i love that i grew up not watching tv all summer long, or that i had to listen to cbc radio, or that on rainy days i curled up with a good book or ran around in the rain in my bathing suit. i am glad i make my kids play in puddles, that i don’t care if they get dirty, that they know what deer, moose, bear, raccoons and ducks look like. i am glad that my sons know what bush is a blueberry bush or a raspberry bush or strawberry plants, what mica and quartz crystals look like and that you should always carry rock hunting gear in the trunk of your car.

the simple things in life are best – they are educational, inexpensive, relaxing and of the utmost importance in my life and hopefully i instill that in my kids.

~ simply me who is leaving for the cottage in 4 hours ~

what is your definition of success?

s u c c e s s

a simple life well lived in our human nature is a desire to achieve, to be successful. we all want success.

how do we measure success?

can a person have too much success?

a little story about a mexican fisherman illustrates success in a simple life well lived.

the little story....

the businessman was at the pier of a small coastal mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. inside the small boat were several large yellowfin tuna. the businessman complimented the mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them. the mexican replied only a little while.

the businessman then asked why he didn't stay out longer and catch more fish? the mexican said he had enough to support his family's immediate needs. the businessman then asked, but what do you do with the rest of your time? the mexican fisherman said, "i sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take a siesta with my wife, maria, stroll into the village each evening where i sip wine and play guitar with my amigos; i have a full and busy life, señor."

the businessman scoffed, "i am a harvard mba and i could help you. you should spend more time fishing and with the proceeds buy a bigger boat. with the proceeds from the bigger boat you could buy several boats; eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats. instead of selling your catch to a middleman, you would sell directly to the processor and eventually open your own cannery. you would control the product, processing and distribution. you would need to leave this small coastal fishing village and move to mexico city, then la and eventually new york city where you would run your expanding enterprise."

the mexican fisherman asked, "but señor, how long will this all take?" to which the businessman replied, "15-20 years." "but what then, señor?" the businessman laughed and said, "that's the best part! when the time is right you would announce an ipo and sell your company stock to the public and become very rich. you would make millions." "millions, señor? then what?" the businessman said, "then you would retire. move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take a siesta with your wife, stroll to the village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play your guitar with your amigos."

the fisherman, still smiling, looked up and said, "isn't that what i'm doing right now?"

-author unknown

we live in a world in which being successful is everything. success is measured by power, popularity, control, achievement, and winning. having more and being more is success. the businessman measured success by the accumulation of wealth and by living a plush life. he held a harvard mba, millions of dollars, and status as a powerful businessman. "the person with the most toys wins" is a fitting motto.

the businessman encouraged the fisherman to accumulate "toys," too. "buy a bigger boat," then "buy several boats," and eventually buy a "fleet of fishing boats." the businessman claimed all this would lead to power and status when "you would sell directly to the processor and eventually open your own cannery." as his own boss, the businessman ventured the mexican would amass "control" and more wealth through an "expanding enterprise."

patiently the fisherman listened and then asked an intelligent question, "how long will this all take?" to which the businessman replied, "15-20 years." there’s danger in waiting to live the life that you really want to live. like the businessman, we can easily spend forty years climbing to the top of the financial ladder only to find it is leaning against the wrong wall. we didn’t address life issues about faith, contribution, success, suffering, or love.  possessions and wealth are not enough. while comforting, wealth cannot fulfill. benjamin franklin was of the opinion, "money never made a man happy yet, nor will it. the more a man has, the more he wants. instead of filling a vacuum, it makes one." wealth may momentarily help us to escape emptiness; it cannot cure it.

the mexican fisherman lived in a small village, fished in a small boat, and led a simple life. his little way made, for him, a happy life. the mexican found success in a simple life well lived. the quality of his relationships, the depth of his character, and the sincerity of his commitments to family measured his success.

the fisherman had a specific view of a life well lived. "i sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take a siesta with my wife, maria, stroll into the village each evening where i sip wine and play guitar with my amigos." to be as specific as possible helps to succeed in living a good life. his little way made, for the mexican fisherman, a "full and busy life." the businessman accumulated money to support his retirement. it was wise to plan for the future. yet, what sort of life was he living in the present? the businessman was so future-oriented he hadn’t taken sufficient time to question what the future looked like. the businessman was living for what the mexican already enjoyed—a simple life well lived. i’m not suggesting selling everything and moving to a small coastal mexican village (although, personally this is an appealing idea). we should aspire to be successful in our careers. my brother received a $40,000 bonus last year, and my sister recently passed her exam to pursue her doctorate. these are perfectly legitimate forms of success. we run into trouble when the only thing we are living for is success that is self-serving. rudyard kipling, giving a commencement address at mcgill university in montreal, said there was one striking thing that deserves to be remembered about people. warning the students against an over-concern for money, power, or popularity, he said, "some day you will meet a man who cares for none of these things. then you will know how poor you are." the businessman discovered how poor he was when he met the mexican fisherman.

 
 

 

ralph waldo emerson defined success in a simple life well lived as:

"to laugh often and much; to win the respect of
intelligent people and affection of children; to learn the
appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of
false friends; to appreciate beauty; to find the best in
others; to leave the world a little bit better, whether by
a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social
condition; to know even one life has breathed easier
because you have lived. this is to have succeeded."


i think the mexican fisherman would have agreed with emerson

 
written by shanelle pierce, © 2005 center for life principles, all rights reserved.

discovering your golden buddha

a few weeks ago a good friend of mine and i went to see a screening of a documentary called "finding joe".  joseph campbell was an american mythologist and writer who is best known for his writings about the hero's journey.  after a lot of thought and reflection about the movie, i can say that i think it has made me realize why i went through my post partum journey this past year, the reason i seek a simple life, the reason i am doing all the things i want to do in life right now and why i am me, right now, here in today's present.  while the movie isn't the most spectacular movie you will ever see, the imagery is stunning and the dialogue lets you relate to campbell's theories and also inspires.  the film follows the stages of campbell's hero journey: challenges, fears, dragons, battles, and the return home as a changed person.

allen cohen, is a writer who is well known for his contributions to the chicken soup for the soul series of books.  in the movie, allen explaings the story of the golden buddha.  this is the story that i related to the most in the movie - here is an except from chicken soup from the soul of this story

in 1957, a group of tibetan monks were informed that a highway was being built and the highway would have to go through the location where the shrine, for which they were responsible, was currently located. the shrine, a huge clay buddha, would have to be moved. arrangements were made and the day of shrine moving arrived, the shrine, located under a roof to keep it safe from the elements, was prepared for its journey. a crane began lifting the clay buddha. the buddha, as it rose off of its block resting place, began to crack. it was far heavier than all the engineers had estimated. the monk supervising the movement of the buddha frantically called to the crane operator telling him to set the buddha down. quickly, the alert crane operator carefully set the buddha on the ground. as the monks and the engineers examined the buddha, they found several large cracks. a larger crane would be needed and that crane would not be brought in until the next day. the buddha would have to spent the night in its current location. to make matters worse, there was a storm building and the night ahead would be a stormy one.

the monks covered the buddha with water proof tarps on poles to keep it dry overnight. all seemed to be well. during the night, the head monk awoke and decided to check on the buddha. with a flashlight, the monk carefully checked the condition of the buddha. as he walked around the huge clay figure shining his light on the cracks, something caught his eye. he returned to the spot on which he had just shined his light. he peered into the crack. what he saw he did not understand. he needed to see more. he went back to his quarters, found a chisel and a hammer and returned to the buddha. he began carefully chipping at the clay around the crack. as the crack widened, he could not believe his eyes. he ran to wake the other monks and instructed each to bring a hammer and chisel. by lantern light the monks carefully chipped all the clay from the buddha. after hours of chiseling, the monks stepped back and stared in awe at the sight before them. there, in front of the monks, stood a solid gold buddha.

when the moving crew arrived later that morning to complete the job of moving the buddha to its new location, there was much confusion and excitement. where had the clay buddha gone? from where had the golden buddha come? the monks explained. historians were called and research was begun to discover the origin of the golden buddha.

after much research, the pieces of the story were put together. the golden buddha was the cherished responsibility of a group of monks several centuries earlier. these monks received word that the burmese army was headed their way. concerned that the invading army would loot the shrine for its golden buddha, the monks covered their buddha with 8 to 12 inches of clay. when they were finished the golden buddha appeared to be a buddha of clay. the invading army would surely have no interest. the monks were correct. the invading army had no interest in the buddha. they did, however, kill all the monks before they moved on. the golden buddha was lost in history until 1957.

there is a golden buddha inside each of us. hidden away and covered with layers and layers of clay. we start out life as a true golden buddha. then our true self gets put on a shelf and we get involved in the survival game. we each begin to lose our true drive and we lose sight of the gifts each of has to offer.

the golden buddha story gives us tools we can use every day - the flashlight, the chisel and the hammer. the flashlight represents the power of our individual vision. the hammer represents the power of our individual level of responsibility. the hammer represents the power of our individual sense of team that will get each of us on our road to success. the team we each have available to us are those individuals whom we know are committed to us unconditionally - our true friends and family.

in the movie, allen cohen relates the layers of clay on each of our own golden buddhas to the labels we and society put on ourselves as well as all the things that we are overloaded with from the media, the world's events, news, and even just the busyness of life itself.  there are expectations that come with each label that bog us down and weigh down on us like the clay and it isn't until something happens in our life that we "crack".  it might be something major like a divorce or a death, or something like an illness.  it isn't until we crack that we can see that deep down inside we are a golden buddha.

 

it is weird to put this in writing but i really think that while this past year of dealing with post partum depression has been horrible, i think it is the best thing that has happened to me.  it has been my crack and it has lead to me discovering my golden buddha.  i have written on here about finding out what things you like to do and doing more of them but it wasn't until dealing with all of this that i actually examined what i am made up of.  yes i am a mom, a daughter, a sister, a friend and so forth, but i am myself - an individual - and i need to be that first and foremost to be happy and to allow for my golden buddha to glow and break down all the labels and stressors in my life - chip away the clay.

 

i like me as a golden buddha.  and so i leave you with this ..... 

there is a crack, a crack in everything .... that's how the light gets in ~ The Anthem by Leonard Cohen

 

 

 
 
~ simply golden me ~